Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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