we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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