GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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