the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
