We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
