I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize