I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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