Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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