so that wasnt chicken after all
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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