I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
