Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
