She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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