Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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