you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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