whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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