I love black thongs
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
