we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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