i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
