Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
