Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
