After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
