ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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