the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
