Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize