my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
