We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
