dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
