when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
