So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
