My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
