Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
