Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
