I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
