The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
