Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
