Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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