the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
