did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
