Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
