I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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