since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
