I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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