make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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