he puts the penis in happiness.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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