it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
