He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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