looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
