my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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