my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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