Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
