So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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