No, you can still breathe under the balls.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
