feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize