Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
