have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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