capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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