My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
