On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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