I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
