I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
