I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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