another moral hangover. fuck.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize