i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
