SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
